This is just a stub of a thought that I had today, but I’ll just put it out there:
I’ve been socially retarded perhaps most of my life (not anymore though). As a kid I had the habit of thinking “rationally” instead of in abstract ways.
Somehow I disregarded the feelings that I had about things and mostly went through by being inside my head.
Sounds good, but when it comes to being social, being inside your head is the worst thing that can happen to you.
In my experience being social is mostly about expressing your current state with integrity. This is how you come off as authentic and have a natural timing with your communication.
Excluding social interactions, we live in a highly logical world. I’m not going to speculate how it affects us, but for some reason I experienced a serious need to be “logical” and “rational”.
Maybe I learned it from my big brother, who’s exactly like that – I don’t know.
I’m sure that there are a lot of people who are trying to force logical point of view to their social interactions and wonder why people don’t enjoy their company.
Person like that has to open a completely new dimension in their lives – dimension that is mostly outside ones head.
They are so focused on their own thoughts that they forget to focus on the feeling that they currently have, see how the other person is and how to express their current state instead of their current thoughts.
When I tried to think hard what to say and then tried to convey it, it almost always came somewhat “off”.
I believe that everyone has experienced the feeling when they can talk without feeling constrained by something. It seems that there isn’t any time between thoughts and speech. That’s when we are expressing ourselves, instead of being inside our heads.
Think about a child. They come off as natural as possible because they haven’t learned anything else.
They are coming from a source of feeling and integrity.
The problems start when the child learns to go inside their head and act from there.
This is my experience anyways.