Whatever I set out to do, I always become afraid of something.
“How are people going to react to this”
“What if I’m going to fail”
I can’t help it that I get these thoughts. They surprise me when I least expect them.
Let me tell you a secret: everyone gets afraid, but what separates seemingly unafraid people from others is that they know what to do about it.
I bet everyone has their own way of dealing with it, but I’ll gladly share mine.
Conditioned reaction to fear
During every moment, there are several things happening in our consciousness:
- The current thought
- The operating subconscious (the wiring of our brain)
- + The emotional state that we have
Fear always starts from the thought that is brought up by our subconscious.
It either gets enhanced or diminished by our current emotional state.
In this case, the first step is always self-awareness. I can’t stress enough the importance of realizing what goes inside you.
After being aware of your current state you can start conditioning yourself.
What I do
We can’t help the fact that we get fearful thoughts from time to time, but we can condition ourselves to do something about it.
Every time I notice a fear arising in me, I immediately pin-point the cause and use my pre-determined drive & dreams to run over the fear.
The fear reminds me of my drive, which for me is so much more important than me getting emotionally hurt.
It’s like a doorbell reminding me to open the door.
The irony is that after that I feel like I can’t get hurt even if someone would reject me. The end result is always some form of personal growth.
Let’s say that I’m about to contact someone for a deal, but I’m afraid that they might reject me.
The exact moment when I become afraid, I get reminded (as I’ve conditioned myself) by the fact why I’m even doing all this. I get reminded of my drive and motivation.
The idea of not making my dreams come true is so much more horrible than the initial fear.
And so the fear dissolves.
This is why it’s so important to actually spend some time to figure out what it is that you want as it will be the most important factor that keeps you going despite all the brick walls.
How to condition yourself
Conditioning is basically a synonym for a habit that you must form around the fear.
The method used is dependant on your drive and motivating force behind whatever you want to do.
The conditioning isn’t the problem, but finding what can really drive you long-term.
After you discover that, applying the conditioning to fear is relatively easy: Every time you get afraid of doing something, remind yourself about your long-term goals.
Don’t just think about it, visualize it!
See yourself reading a great book while lying in a hammock, listening to the waves. No worries about money or going to work next week.
Then start pushing forward.
If it doesn’t work, you will have to re-evaluate your goals or strengthen the vision.
If something like a fear of not doing something is stopping you, then you definitely haven’t thought things through.