Maybe it’s just me, but when it comes to talking about success today, it seems that everyone in encouraging the concept of failure.
If there’s a unbeneficial way to look at things related to what we do, we should seek for ways to change it.
Thinking and talking about “failure” is one of those, even though it’s a subtle one.
You have never failed
You have only gotten results that you didn’t want.
The problem of thinking about your past doings as “failures” is that the concept is easily linked to who you are.
It has never been personal.
“Failure” has a negative tone to it.
Spinning it around to “results” makes it objective and neutral instead of negative.
By seeing everything as the “results” for your actions enables you to look at it more objectively and it helps you to realize how you can improve your actions.
The problem with a lot of people is that they take “mistakes” to their core. They believe that it’s part of their identity instead of the wrong action that they took.
This is particularly common for people who believe that they have failed as human beings.
It’s not uncommon for people to resort to blaming others for actions that they took. Maybe they are too proud to admit that they were wrong – too bad, because it’s the first and perhaps the most important step for growing.
They’ll keep doing what they’ve always done and keep getting what they’ve always been getting.
And it’s always someone elses fault.
Stop thinking your mistakes as mistakes in the past. Focus on the objective results that were caused by your actions.
- You talked to that girl and she was bored with you? She wasn’t bored by you, she was bored by what you did. Try something else.
- Your Business venture didn’t go as expected and people didn’t like what you offered? Do something else.
Not once did you fail. Nothing personal happened.
Even not getting a result is a result.
Think about everything that you’ve thought as failure before and start focusing on only these two things:
- The actions that you took
- The results that you got
“people hate me now!” or “People are shit!!”
Those aren’t results, but beliefs that you’ve linked to either your or their “identity”
“I did this thing and it got a negative reaction from my audience”
Now this is a great result. You managed to look at your actions without judging yourself and figured out that the only thing that you can do now is to act differently.
There were only actions that were taken, nothing else. It wasn’t personal.
Learn the lesson and do something differently.