Happiness doesn’t necessarily look like happiness from the outside

I’m a big fan of “life lessons” articles, you can find some of my favorites from the 100 self-growth articles.

Today I encountered another great one, where a redditor shared a list of 100 things that he has learned through his life. Great read and recommended for everyone.

Bitches, money, friends – nope, that’s not it

I dislike the word “happiness”. When I think about it, there’s an image in my mind of a person who’s all smile all the time.

Even though I consider myself happy, I’m nowhere like that guy.

In everyday life, I believe that I act pretty much like any other person, but there’s usually (not always) this different kind of feeling of joy.

If I’d have to describe it, I’d say that happiness is the underneath, warm feeling of “everything is all right”.

Such profound.

When I was depressed I really thought that there would have to be great shallow (I didn’t think of them as shallow back then) changes in my life in order for me to be happy.

There would have to be lots of friends, lots of women and lots of money in my life. Then I would have no other choice but to be happy.

This was a delusion.

Currently my life looks pretty much how I feared it would look like if I’d be left alone. When looked from the outside, that is.

On the inside, I’m happier, more engaged daily and more fulfilled than ever before in my life.

My relatives are often wondering who I’ve “isolated” myself as I haven’t had friends to hang out with for as long as I can remember.

This hasn’t been intentional – I’ve focused so much on making myself happy that the thought of going out there and making friends hasn’t even crossed my mind.

Of course I’m not living like a complete hermit – I’m still interacting with a lot of people and with my close relatives. Those interactions and my relationships with my relatives have become deeper and better than ever before.

I’m not saying that this is the optimal way to do this – no way, I believe that I’ve just been conditioned in a way that I don’t particularly feel the need to make friends.

As long as having friends and people to hang out with bring considerable value to ones life, they can be invaluable. This hasn’t been the case with me.

The interests that I have currently (investing (security analysis), self-improvement, reading, working, drawing, jogging etc) most likely differ a lot from the majority’s “interests”. I can’t really imagine the situation where I’d discuss about any of those unless that person would be more of a business partner rather than a friend.

I guess that having friends is somewhat a chapter in the past for me. The next step when it comes to relationships would be to look for a significant other for myself.

But that’s when I feel like looking for one.


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