When do we become responsible of our own lives?

This is a train of thought that I had while jogging:

Let’s imagine a kid. A kid is growing up, he can’t obviously decide much for himself, but is guided by his parents constantly.

The kid is constantly sucking information from its environment and acting it out.

At some point, this kid goes to school. He finds out that other kids don’t like him for whatever reason. The reason is usually some kind of conditioning learned from home/growth environment that the other kids don’t like.

This may be somewhat politically incorrect, but I think that instead of focusing on bullies, we should rather focus on how to raise kids that are empowered enough not to get bullied.

Of course bullies should be dealt accordingly, but how is it working? Even if the bullying ends, the underlying dynamics will still be unfavorable towards the unpopular kid.

Anyways, the kids grow up and the kid has now became a man.

At which point did the kid turn into a responsible man who can make decisions from himself? When we look at a kids decisions, they are always based on the conditioning they’ve been brought into.

School system gives some direction, but it always has this underlying assumption that everyone knows what’s best for themselves.

It is always implied that we become get “responsibility” at some magical point, but in the end people are just playing their conditioning out.

I’m lucky, because I’ve gone through the same as that imaginary kid, but I found stuff that empowered me and enabled me to change my conditioning and ultimately, change my life. I simply can’t take pride for something that happened by accident.

It was pure accident that I happened to read some article where someone recommended Eckhart Tolle to me and it was a pure accident that I happened to be in an open state of mind to absorb and get obsessed with that audiobook.

I’m a paradox

Ok, so I’ve been writing about environment affecting our lives, but I still (want to) believe that we choose our actions and we decide our future.


Because believing otherwise would be disempowering or, just fucking stupid.

If I’d start believing that I can’t do anything and that the “environment” will do whatever it does, I’d be giving out ‘responsibility’ for my life. I kind of understand though that this kind of belief is also part of the conditioning created by my current environment, which consists mostly of empowering influences.

The truth about the past

Everything is as it’s supposed to be, the past isn’t a branch but a tunnel.

It’s easy to think about past as a “branch” because of this particular thought:

What if I had chosen otherwise at point x

Everything happened for a reason – and I’m not talking about some spiritual or godly concept, but the reason is that your conditioning simply played towards the decision you made.

Based on the experience you had at that point, you couldn’t have made any other decision, because it was already determined.

Thinking about the past being a tunnel with “branches” is simply foolish.

I’m not sure though what to think about the future, so I’d rather not think about it at all. The best would be to focus on what I can do right now to make the most out of life, which is now.

Video of the day: Tyler’s Formula For Insecurities etc.

I’m constantly amazed how great stuff Owen produces. The funny things is that I’m not focused on pickup, but Owen speaks so much about self-improvement in general and manages to always inspire me.

The humor value is also obvious.

This video also made me realize once again how important it is to constantly watch and read stuff that really lifts you up.


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