Most people want to change something in their lives.
Today there are limitless resources for changing yourself, changing your environment, even changing the world.
It looks like a perfect match, but it’s not.
Despite wanting to change, people believe deeply that they can’t.
It’s part of their identity, their sense of self that has shaped to the point of being completely resistant to outer stimulus.
I’ve seen countless of people who are on their fifties and look like they’ve been struggling emotionally for their whole lives.
Everyone knows some bitter old man who pisses everyone off.
They’ve probably been through lots of things. They may be in a lot of pain.
Even still it’s not just about what happens to you, but how you process it.
Randy Pausch got the worst possible news from his doctor and he still kept being an amazing person until the end.
Once you end up in a situation where you have no choice but to change, you’ll do it.
You can end up in that situation either a) consciously or b) unconsciously.
The defining moment for me was the decision to start doing something else than playing videogames, watching movies and wasting my life every single day.
I was so fucking tired of it and I still kept going for a year, hoping for things to change.
There was no escape for me unless I would really determine to take responsibility for my own well-beingness.
People around me didn’t tell me to change, they wanted me to be just like them.
Why it’s goddamn hard to end up in such situation
I have this mental hack that I use to push through my fears. It’s all about prioritizing between your desires and your fears.
As long as your desires are of less importance to you than what you are afraid of, you will not overcome your fears.
Change is scary because it’s unknown.
Think about it: You may even end up worse than you were.
Your present situation may be horrible, but at least you are familiar with it.
Your mind is constantly weighing between these two and as long as your fear weighs more than your present situation, you will stay stagnant.
We are victims of our established habits that have become part of our identity.
“I work at an insurance company daily, I’m an insurance man”
“I can’t achieve anything, I’m a piece of shit”
Two different statements, same thing.
You could imagine that a homeless man who is at the bottom has every reason to get up and start doing something – anything.
From the outside it definitely looks like that, but from the inside of such persons mind it doesn’t.
They believe that it isn’t possible. Instead of being afraid, they have completely shut down the possibility of making a change.
Can you guess it already?
I’m not going to tell you to change. That’s your job.
There are two things that you need to make a permanent change:
Emotion is used to get the engine running.
Knowledge comes into play when your motivational fuel starts running low.
You get knowledge by adapting mind-set of a curious person who always wants to learn more.
The world is evolving constantly and you should too.
We all have different desires and different fears. You will have to figure out by yourself what really needs to be done.
If you don’t know – ask, search from google, do everything to gain that knowledge.
Because it IS out there.
Sometimes it means making really rough choices, like ditching all the negative people even though they are the only interaction you have aside from your family.
But it was the best thing I’ve ever done.